The above statement seems like a meme or an incomplete thought at face value. However, when the mind is applied to this phrase; the saying becomes a chain of thoughts linked together that shows a deep and profound message.
Be a Man
In today's generation and culture, the definition of a man is completely lacking. Depending on the upbringing of the individual, the thought and opinion of what a man is can range to mean anything. For example, some believe that one becomes a man by simply doing an act of bravado or stunts that boosts the ego of the individual. In other cases, various cultures gives a short and non descriptive definitions of manhood (grow up, work hard, get married, have a family, live life, no trouble mantras). However, what the individual needs is a definition of a man that is to the point and descriptive. Why? Because men by nature are more prone to action rather than thought. However, that does not speak for every man.
What does it mean to be a man? From the lessons learned from my father, my grandfather, my conversations with single fathers and married fathers, here is what I have learned. To be a man, is to be one who leads by example for himself and his family; one who is steadfast in his beliefs and practices what he preaches; one who builds a legacy for his family and generation; one who accepts his mistakes as lessons and does right for himself; one who loves selflessly and is pure in heart.
This may seem at face value, all ideals in the clouds, however this definition gives definition as to the actions and motives of a real man. It is wisdom for one to learn his/her role in life before committing to the role.
According to Jewish author and Rabbi Shalom Arush, he gives a profound definition of a man in his book where he states:
A man gives, he pampers others, listens to others, pays attention to others, concedes his wants for the sake of others, is forgiving, doesn't seek honor, doesn't want to benefit from others, supports others, helps, others, and empathizes with others. A man can accept humiliation with love, and can also accept complaints and accusations without being offended or defensive.
The Garden of Peace. Arush, R. Shalom. Pg. 99.
This quote may sound preposterous if not ridiculous. However, when pondered, the definition speaks of what a man is and ought to be towards others (family included). The quote speaks of the actions that a man who shows and acts out of love. Read the definition carefully, and one will see that love is the action of giving from oneself selflessly. Yet one will ask, how can a man accept humiliation with love? The answer is this, the humiliation the Rabbi is talking about is within the context of marriage. The humiliation that is mentioned is the humiliation a parent will experience from ill mannered children or when the man does something that humiliates his wife. The accepting of this humiliation or the recognition of humiliation is the act of being down to earth in humility and owning up to the mistake which the man does out of love for his wife and family.
Another question that is asked: how does a man accept complaints or accusation without being defensive or offended? Again, context is needed. Within any relationship or marriage, one is not exempt from complaints or accusations on small things. A man is one who hears these things and takes action to correct the root of the problem causing the partner to accuse or complain (husband or wife; boyfriend or girlfriend). What about honor? Keep in mind this, that honor is a spiritual/moral/ethical/mental trait that is not given not can be taken away. Honor is the gift the warrior/knight gives to himself and treasures in the heart of his lady. Therefore, if Honor is a given gift, there should never be "honor seeking' as it is a sign of ingratitude to the gift.
Be a Warrior
When a man accepts and commits to the Path of the Warrior, the man becomes a warrior based on the merit of living and being committed to the warrior lifestyle. The warrior is one who walks in between two worlds, one of peace, and the other one of war. Now this definition is not limited to one who serves in the army, navy, marines or special forces. This definition speaks of the individual who fights the battles from within (as in a community or home town). This individual is not a vigilante, but rather a man who has prowess and wisdom to act within the law to see that justice is accomplished. However,, for the warrior, his wisdom or direction of the Path can be determined by what source of wisdom does he benefit from. One can benefit from the study of Bushido, Sufism, Taoism, Stoic Philosophy etc. A warrior can choose which source of wisdom he/she can identify with or comprehend. This is the opposite of what a Knight is/
Be a Knight
When a man chooses to live and be committed to the lifestyle of the Knight, the man becomes a warrior that follows the precepts of Chivalry as defined by the authors Ramon Lull, Sir Geoffrey de Charney and Christine de Pizan. Unlike the warrior which can choose any form of warrior wisdom, the Knight bases his/her wisdom on the writings of the mentioned authors. In addition, the Knight follows the Path by practicing the Knightly Arts, poetry, courtship and staying committed to the principles of True Chivalry. This is the Path that I am on and I remain committed to this Path. Why? Because I not only see the value of practicing the lifestyle, I see the value of teaching this lifestyle to others who hear the call of True Chivalry.
Valiant Knight, Be a Man to be a warrior. Be a warrior to be a Knight. Be a Knight to be the example to all.
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