The study of the Book of Chivalry by Sir Geoffrey de Charney continues with the discussion and insight into the influence and charisma of the right Lady in relation to the Warrior.
The author begins with the following questions:
Which one of two ladies should have the greater joy in her lover when they are both at a feast in a great company and they are aware of each other's situation? Is it the one who loves the good knight, and she sees her lover come into the hall where all are at table and she sees him honored, saluted, and celebrated by all manner of people and brought to favorable attention before ladies and damsels, knights and squires, and she observes the great renown and the glory attributed to him by everyone?
And if one of the other ladies loves the miserable wretch who, for no good reason, is unwilling to bear arms, she will see him come into that very hall and perceive and understand that no one pays him any attention or shows him honor or notices him, and he remains hidden behind everyone else, for no one brings him forward.
The author uses the example of two ladies who support two different knights. Both knights having different affects on other people. The question is asked: how does this pertain to me?
The answer is this: the saying "behind every powerful man, is a more powerful woman" is true pertaining to Warriorhood and living the Warrior lifestyle. In other words, who you (as a Warrior) trust with your heart, will be an influence on your training and your deeds of heroism.
What do I mean by this? The Warrior is not just a fighting individual, he is a cultured man of Wisdom, Discernment, Stoic Reasoning and Honor. The decision he makes, will have a positive or negative impact on his lifestyle. This pertains especially to his choosing a girlfriend or wife.
In today's times, the concept of love and relationship has been pulled in every direction imagined. Yet we also see the darkness of divorce and it's impact on families and other people; marital strife, crimes committed within marriage, loss of direction, ungratefulness within a marriage. The list is endless. Yet in spite of all of this, the Warrior does not waver or falter to the darkness. he fights against it with the weapons of Stoic Reasoning, Discernment, Wisdom, Vision, Cause and Purpose.
The question that arises is: How does the Warrior go about finding or choosing the right woman?
The answer can be given or drawn upon by the author's comments in the following:
How do such people dare to love when they do not know nor do they want to know about the worthy deeds that they should know about and ought to perform, especially those who for good reason should undertake them?
Therefore, men should love secretly, protect, serve, and honor all those ladies and damsels who inspire knights, me at arms, and squires to undertake worthy deeds that bring them honor and increase their renown.
And these noble ladies should, as is their duty, love and honor these worthy men at arms who, in order to deserve their noble love and their benevolence, expose themselves to so much physical danger as the vocation of arms requires from those who aim to reach and achieve that high honor through which they hope to deserve to win the love of their ladies.
The comments made by the author give the qualities and the expected consequences from a relationship with the right woman for the Warrior. In the first comment, the question is aimed at the woman who is self centered and does not care for what is important to the Warrior namely living by the lifestyle and following its every precept. And it also points the consequences of a relationship that does not have vision for the short and long term goals. A couple brought together that do not share the same vision are bound to suffer much. For the Warrior is a leader guided by Vision and Purpose. Therefore, the woman that the Warrior should seek must be a woman who shares the same Vision as him.
The second comment is a directive given by the author. The Warrior (after finding the right woman) must love, honor, cherish serve, protect and value his love with everything within him and must be inspired to strive for betterment of himself and of his relationship to his girlfriend or wife. The Warrior must take every initiative to better the relationship and seize any and every opportunity to better his life by means of work, training or deeds of heroism or prowess done with inspiration from his lady love.
Yet the question arises that says: What qualities in a woman must I look for so I don't end up with the wrong woman?" The answer is given in the third comment. According to the author, the woman that that the Warrior must find and make his life partner must be a woman who loves and cherishes her love, one who inspires if not pushes him to be the better Warrior or the better man. One who shares the same vision for the short and long term goals of the relationship. She must be a woman who understands her love and who is willing to accept the reality of life and the Warrior Lifestyle. In fact it is the ideal for Warriors to find women who are Warriors themselves and marry them (provided they share the same vision regarding marriage and family). However, if the woman who you as a Warrior to compromise in any way living by Warrior Wisdom or following the Warrior lifestyle or she blatantly tells you to drop it for her sake; it is better to leave her rather than to stay and wither away into an empty of your true self.
I am not preaching to order you to do what I tell, rather I am giving the directive and example of how Warriors must conduct themselves in regards to Love, Relationships and even what to look for in a woman. For those that are convinced that they do not need a woman to help fulfill their mission in life as Warriors, I commend them. For those that seek a relationship, use discernment and follow Warrior Wisdom when choosing the woman whom you want to open up to.
Brave Knight, choose wisely your Lady Love.
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